Chasing Death
by Chappy-the-Bunny
Summary: What is it like to acquire something without having to work for it? It must not have the same, pleasurable feeling as the chase.
1. Chapter 1

**Chasing Death**

"IIIIIZAAAYAAAA-KUUUUN!"

The deep growl echoed throughout the hallways, causing anxious students to dart out of the infamous Shizuo Heiwajima's path.

"Ah, what's this, Shizu-chan? Why are you shouting so early in the morning?" his raven-haired classmate chirped, giggling in amusement as a rather frightened girl almost tripped over her own two feet to get out of the way.

"SHUT UP! YOU KNOW _EXACTLY _WHY I'M ANGRY!" the blond yelled, punching a nearby bulletin board, causing all of the pinned and tapped on papers to cascade to the floor.

"Oh, I do? I'm afraid I don't recall-"

"YOU STOLE MY LUNCH!" Shizuo bit in, his features appearing much more monstrous now that he was drawing closer to Izaya Orihara at a fast pace.

"You mean this lunch?" Izaya chuckled, holding up the perfectly wrapped bento like a plucked beet. "There was an adorable little note attached to it, too! 'Enjoy your lunch, big brother.' How cute. It makes me want to vomit," he concluded, crumpling the dainty piece of paper and dropping it to the ground.

This triggered a spark to go off in Shizuo's brain, his teeth grinding together in passionate fury. "You pick that note up right now, or you're dead."

Smiling pleasantly, Izaya rose his left foot into the air, allowing it to linger for a moment or two before he stomped down onto Shizuo's "precious note", applying pressure as he squashed it like a bug.

The blond could not believe what he had just saw, his mouth dangling open in utter shock. His disbelief didn't last long, however. It took only a split second for Shizuo's brain to register, his teeth snapping shut and his hands darting forward as he sped, intent on strangling the life out of that filthy little flea.

Turning a one-eighty, Izaya bolted in the opposite direction, causing unsuspecting female classmates to squeal in terror.

Izaya and Shizuo must have run through every hallway, climbed every set of stairs, and parted every sea of students that they had come across. "STOP RUNNING, IZAYA!"

"But if I stop, Shizu-chan will kill me! How frightening!" Izaya hollered, a whole-hearted laugh resounding in the back of his throat.

"JUST GIVE ME MY FREAKING LUNCH BACK!"

"No, hahaha!"

Bursting through the side stairwell's set of doors, Izaya ascended said staircase as fast as his thin legs could take him, Shizuo trailing dangerously close behind.

They had ended up on the school's rooftop. Izaya felt a pang of regret in the pit of his stomach for making such a terrible decision. Where would he go now? He was like a cornered mouse.

Coming to a short stop at the protective wire fence that rounded the perimeter of the roof, the raven turned around, half-expecting to see Shizuo just feet from where he stood, but he was wrong. The blond had a villainous grin painted on his face, making him look like the _true_ monster that he was. He was positioned back at the top door of the stairwell. "Nowhere to run, huh, Izaya-kun?" What was he doing? With a balled fist, Shizuo pounded in the doorknob, forcing it to be broken, damaged, and locked. Oh. _That_.

Izaya's grip on the bento lunch failed him and it slipped from his hand, causing it to crash to the ground and break open, something that would have amused him terribly if he were not in his current position.

Shizuo started to walk closer, almost at a preying lion's pace. This action had caused Izaya's heart to accelerate, his feeble hands gripping onto the rusted metal of the fence behind him. "Shizu-chan's so scary," Izaya snickered, swallowing an embarrassing amount of pent up saliva.

"Shut up," he drew out in a low growl, coming closer with each pounding step. Step. Thump. Step, step. Ba-thump, ba-thump.

"Shizu-chan's a monster," Izaya continued, taking no such order.

"I told you to shut up!" Shizuo shouted, losing his temper for just a moment. He struggled to regain it with no avail.

"A monster! A disgusting, good-for-nothing monster!" Izaya screamed, the tips of his words lingering within the higher altitude of air.

"What part of 'shut up'," Shizuo belted, lunging forward and wrapping his fingers around Izaya's neck, "don't you understand?"

Choking at the fierce impact, Izaya struggled for air, a feeling that he couldn't say he had ever felt before. "Shiz-"

"QUIET!" he demanded, tightening his grip. Izaya's expression melted into one of distress, his mouth agape as he fought for air.

Shaky hands detached from their place on the wire fence, leaving Shizuo to all but stare at them as the ventured upward. _Closer_.

A jolt of shock on Shizuo's part caused the fiery grip to transform into a deathly one. Izaya's hands had coiled around Shizuo's murderous arm, holding onto the fabric of his school uniform carefully due to light-headedness that he was now feeling. "Shi-" Shizuo dug his nails into the porcelain skin and dragged them at the sound of Izaya's voice. Nonetheless, Izaya pushed forward, his bluing lips forming hushed words. "Shizu...Shizu-chan wo...n't. Shizu-chan...won't do...it."

Won't do what? Did this useless flea honestly think he had a chance at life? It was at that moment, though, at that very moment when Izaya's hands began to slip from Shizuo's arm that the blond hurriedly released. The sudden retraction forced the raven to plummet to the ground, gasping and gapping for air.

Shizuo merely watched. He watched as that scrawny body struggled to regain a grasp on life below him. "Next time, I won't let go," he warned, voice as frigid as the arctic.

Picking up his ruined lunch in a huff, Shizuo jabbed a kick into Izaya's side, coaxing a muffled cry on the raven's part, before he left the site, kicking in the stairwell door to open it.

Izaya's eyes slipped shut after the blond had left. His breathing pattern had almost returned to its normal and healthy track. Well, that was an adventure. It was what the raven had wanted, right?

"What a monster," he grinned.

* * *

"Awe, Izaya! What happened to you?" Shinra questioned in a panic. Classes were over and the brunette had just happened to be passing by Izaya's homeroom classroom. When he casually looked inside of it, Shinra was most certainly not expecting to see his friend tending to a very bruised and battered neckline.

The raven chuckled coarsely, his throat dry and raspy. "I stole Shizu-chan's lunch," he answered.

The brunette shook his head in disapproval, walking into the classroom and taking a seat beside Izaya. "Why do you do things that you know will upset him?"

"Why?" Izaya smiled, tapping a finger to his chin in thought, deciding, "Because it's fun!"

"Only a masochist would think getting strangled to near death is fun."

"Shinra is so judgmental! I'm hurt!" Izaya complained.

"Oh, hush up and let me see your wounds," Shinra sighed, adjusting his glasses. The raven complied and pulled off his uniform jacket, his array of bruises and fingernail marks coming into view. "He really wasn't playing around this time..." Shinra examined.

"Tell me about it. I really thought I was going to die up there."

"Up there?"

"On the rooftop," Izaya sighed, putting his jacket back on. "It was a stupid mistake on my part, but I was almost positive that he would just give up the chase and punch some lockers in or something."

"But he didn't."

"Nope! He followed me all the way up there, broke the stairwell lock, and choked me!" the raven giggled.

Shinra's face turned disgusted at his friend's cheerful laughter. "Okay then...uh," he was clearly having trouble with his next string of words. "Do you..._like it _when Shizuo hurts you?"

Izaya's mouth clamped shut, laughter instantly ceasing.

"Look, I'm not judging you if you do, but I'm really getting tired of seeing you all beaten-"

"I don't like it," the raven cut in, voice scratchy and head hung low.

"Then why do you-"

"Shinra," he broke in again, this time looking up, "you're starting to annoy me."

Essaying Izaya's face, the brunette sighed and nodded. "Okay. I'll stop asking questions." Standing up, Shinra fit his hands into his hips. "You're coming with me to the nurse's office, though. We need to put some hydrogen peroxide on those scratches before they get infected."

"Yes, _doctor_," Izaya drew out in mockery, rising from his seat and tagging along behind Shinra.

It was quick, but as he was standing up from his desk, Izaya saw a glimpse of bleached locks outside in the school's courtyard from the classroom's windows. The sight made the strings within his heart tangle; the bruises on his neck radiate.

'_I'll play with you again tomorrow, Shizu-chan.'_

* * *

_Hello there, everyone! Chappy here! (:_

_I hope you've like the first chapter of this story! It is a four-chapter compilation, so I hope you will stick around to read the other three chapters! I put a lot of hard work into them! (:_

_I'd just like to say a huge thank you to **Logic Dive** for helping me push through and get the motivation to write this story. Without you checking in on me every few hours or so, I don't think I would have been able to focus and get this story finished as fast as I did, so thank you!_

_That's all that I have to say now, so I really hope that you have enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for taking the time to read it!_

_- Chappy_


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Shizuo, you okay? You look extra pissed today…" his friend, Kadota Kyohei, had asked with concern.

"I _am_ extra pissed. That freaking fleabag, I swear, I'm going to freaking kill him," Shizuo huffed, running a frustrated hand through his bleached hair.

Kadota sighed and shook his head in disapproval. "What did he do this time, hmm?"

"Stole the lunch Kasuka made me."

"But doesn't Kasuka make your lunch _every _day?"

"What's your damn point?" Shizuo spat, a faint hue of pink dusting his cheekbones.

Kadota held up his hands in defense. "Whoah, whoah, I was just asking. I mean, if he makes it every day, does it really matter if Izaya steals it every once in a blue moon?"

"OF COURSE IT—" Shizuo cut himself short, seeing that Kadota's facial expression looked rather threatened by his tone. Taking in a deep breath to control his temper, the blond continued in a much softer set of vocals. "Of course it matters…"

"Ew, Shizu-chan's brotherly love is so creepy!" came a snickering laugh.

With his teeth grinding together in a beastly manner, Shizuo spun on his heel, instantly nauseated by who he saw. "The Hell do you want, flea? Come to die again?"

Shaking his head from left to right, a wicked grin curling his lips, Izaya replied, "Meeting near death today brought me to my limit." The raven pulled back the collar of his uniform jacket, pointing to his tender bruises and fingernail marks. Kadota placed a sheepish hand over his mouth. "Pretty ugly, right?" the raven laughed, adjusting his collar back into place.

Skipping along, Izaya patted Shizuo on the shoulder, darting on past him and Kadota with a rather cheerful, "See you tomorrow, Shizu-chaaan!" in parting.

The brunette had to hold his companion back as the blond rampaged, yearning to bolt after the raven. "Shizuo! It's not worth it! He didn't even do anything!" Kadota shouted, trying to reason with him.

"He touched me!" Shizuo protested.

"Shizuo! Calm down! You're the one who strangled him earlier!"

The blond froze. The sharp memory of those feeble hands reaching up to hold onto his arm, that scratchy voice saying that _he wouldn't do it_, shattered his mentality, an eerie calm overcoming him.

Easing up, Kadota backed off. "You cool now, man?"

"Yeah…sorry about that…" Shizuo murmured.

"It's alright, you just, for a moment there, I really thought I had lost you."

"What do you mean?" Shizuo asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

Kadota nervously scratched his cheek, hesitating for a moment as he said, "Uhhh, well…you had a different look in your eyes…"

The blond blinked, not understanding. "Did I?"

"Yeah, it was…"

_Scary_. That's what Kadota had wanted to say. He knew better, however, and substituted his intuition with a simple, "It just wasn't the 'you' that I know."

Shizuo rubbed the back of his head, somewhat self-conscious now. "Sorry…" he apologized again, this time in a sheepishly sincere tone. "That stupid flea, he just really gets to me, y'know?"

"Yeah, I know," Kadota nodded, patting Shizuo on that same shoulder that Izaya had. "Just be careful, huh? He's not made of steel like you are. You just might end up killing him one day."

The blond laughed a hardy laugh.

"Don't give me false hope, Kadota."

* * *

This was becoming a rather repetitive pattern.

"IZAAAYAAAA-KUUUUN!"

"Ne, Shizu-chan, I'm right here!" Izaya chuckled, tapping two straight fingers onto Shizuo's shoulder from behind.

Whipping around with a demeanor that represented a bull's, Shizuo's nostrils flared, breath heavy as he growled out, "Give me back my wallet."

"Wallet? Now why would I take your—"

"I KNOW YOU TOOK IT, NOW GIVE IT BACK! I HAVE IMPORTANT THINGS IN THERE!" Shizuo bellowed, making everyone within the vicinity either scatter or drop dead silent.

"Ooh! Important things, you say? Now I'm curious," the raven giggled, pulling said wallet out of his back pocket and shuffling through it. There was a decent amount of yen in there, a subway pass, and, oh would you look at that, a picture of the brute and his little brother from years past. "You're so creepy and possessive, Shizu-chan. You're never going to get a girlfriend because of it."

"NO ONE ASKED YOU, JUST GIVE IT BACK!" Shizuo lurched forward, trying to snatch the wallet out of Izaya's hand. The raven had intricately withdrew a step back, making their little farce resemble a dance for dominance.

"I don't think I want to," Izaya chirped, trotting backwards a few feet before dashing away.

"GET BACK HERE!" Shizuo roared, running after him. He was so determined in tracking Izaya down that he had even pushed a female student out of the way, causing her to wail in pain when her shoulder had crashed against a nearby locker.

Izaya had learned from his mistake last time and he was not going to repeat it. Running down the 2nd floor's side corridor, the raven spotted the janitor's office. Running in place, making quick decisions of whether hiding in there would be a good idea or not, Izaya decided yes, it was a good decision, for pounding footsteps came rounding the corner just seconds later.

Breathing heavily, door locked and back pressed flush against it, Izaya had a very faint smile plastered onto his face. He loved it; _all _of it. The chase, Shizuo's attention, the way his name echoed throughout the hallway walls when it was yelled. Yes, the raven really could get high from it all.

Izaya held his breath, hearing Shizuo's steps passing by the outside of the door behind which he hid. The raven was almost positive that his heart had skipped a beat when those footsteps stopped, faltered even, pausing at the janitor's door. Izaya swallowed dryly as a bead of hot sweat raced down the back of his neck, stinging as the salty droplet slid across one of his inflicted scratches.

The raven almost screamed, but he cemented his teeth shut. Shizuo had kicked the janitor's door out of frustration, denting the metal even, but stormed off. Izaya could hear him muttering cuss words beneath his breath before the blond was out of hearing range.

Looking down at the wallet in his hands, Izaya sighed.

"It's no fun if you just give up, Shizu-chan…"

* * *

The dismissal bell buzzed, sending students running this way and that, desperately wanting out the duel-school building. Shizuo had opened his shoe locker, not really focusing on what he was doing, when he felt leather beneath his fingertips. Head shooting up, the blond was startled to find his wallet, limply laying there, in his locker, with a papery note attached to it.

'_Have your stupid wallet back, protozoan.'_

Crumpling the note and throwing it onto the ground, Shizuo hurriedly essayed the contents within his wallet. A sigh of relief overtook him to find that everything that was supposed to be there was; even his picture with Kasuka.

"Somethin' the matter?" Kadota asked, slinging his book bag casually over one shoulder.

"Something is_ always_ the matter, Kadota," Shizuo scoffed.

"Excuse me for being polite," the brunette muttered. "You dropped something," he spoke up, noting the crumpled piece of paper on the ground.

"Threw it there."

"Don't be a litter bug. What is it?" Kadota asked, picking up the piece of paper.

"Note."

"From?"

"Flea."

"Ah," Kadota nodded, unfolding the paper. With an arched brow, he questioned, "Izaya stole your wallet?"

"Yeah."

"Please don't tell me the janitor is going to find his body in the dumpster out back."

"No, I couldn't find him. I mean, I was chasing him, but then he hid somewhere. Stupid coward."

Kadota sighed. "At least he gave it back. He didn't take anything that was inside of it, did he?"

"No…"

"Nothing to fret over then, hmm?"

"Yeah…"

* * *

"Hey, you okay, Izaya?" Shinra asked as the two walked home from school.

"Hmm? Why do you ask?" the raven countered.

"You're awfully quiet. Did something happen between you and Shizuo again today?"

"I stole his wallet," Izaya chuckled.

"You know, I'm really starting to question your sanity, Izaya."

Looking up to the sky, all the raven could do was laugh, and it wasn't a normal, "Haha, that's so funny!" kind of laugh. It was cynical, border-line _evil_, even.

"Me too, Shinra."

_Me too._

* * *

_Here's chapter 2! I hope you enjoyed it! :D_

_Chapter 3 is on the way tomorrow. (:_

_- Chappy_


	3. Chapter 3

"Izaya, sweetheart, don't forget your toast!" his mother called, chasing after her eldest son as he ran out the front door.

"Don't want it!" he shouted back, slinging his book bag over his shoulder and making his way out of their house gate and around the corner.

"Izaya, dear, be safe! Have a good day!" she waved, holding that daintily swaying hand to her chest as her beloved son ran out of her sights.

A weary-eyed duo of twins padded up to the entrance door, tugging on their mother's blouse in a tired and lazy fashion. "Mama, why is big brother always so mean?"

Their mother simply laughed; a distant look casted in her eyes. Kneeling down to become eye level with her baby girls, she said, "You know, Mairu, Kururi, I think big brother Izaya is in love."

"Mama, what's love?" Mairu asked, rubbing her eye with her pajama sleeve.

"Love is something," she paused, "it's something that has no definition. Love is what love is."

"Then Mama, how would you know if you were in love with somebody?"

Laughing and scooping Kururi and Mairu into a warm hug, their mother replied, "You'll know, darling. You most certainly will know."

* * *

'_What should I steal today?'_ Izaya thought to himself, still maintaining a consistent jog as he continued his pursuit to school. _'His homework? No, he never does it anyways. Maybe I could steal his lunch again? That almost resulted in my death, though. Maybe something will happen. I'll just have to see how this little game plays out.'_

The raven was tardy, but seeing as he was "a student with so much potential", his teacher had let it slide. Taking his seat in a hurry, Izaya folded his arms onto his desk and rested his head down into them. He had gotten little to no sleep last night; he had spent his time thinking.

Izaya thought about many things, but at the same time, he thought about nothing at all. He would think about his life before his sisters were born; how the house had the nauseating scent of baby powder after they were. Izaya would think about meeting Shinra; how the boy that used to annoy him and give him the strongest of headaches could one day become his very best friend. And then Izaya would think about Shizuo. He would think about him in great detail. He would start with the way Shizuo's hair was cut, how its color was false, how his eyes never smiled, nor did his lips. Izaya would think about his shoulders, how they were strong and wide, how their sockets rolled perfectly and produced the deadliest of punches. Izaya would think about the blond in every aspect and in every way, always coming one final and definite conclusion:

Shizuo Heiwajima was nothing more or less than a monster.

Hearing a frustrated sigh, Izaya lolled his head over to the side. Seeing that it was Kadota who had made the noise, the raven whispered, "Problem?"

The brunette gulped, feeling as if he had been caught doing something illegal, and quickly turned his attention to the raven. "Wh-what? What are you talking about?" he whispered back, erasing everything that he had written down onto a very intricately folded piece of paper.

Interest sparked, Izaya sat up and positioned his elbow onto his desk, cheekbone cupped into the palm of his hand and a simpleton's grin curling his lips. "Is that a love note, Dotachin?"

The brunette flushed a mad hue of red. "O-of course not! It's just my homework from last night!"

"Hmmm? Then why is the paper all blank? Should I report you to the teacher for being such a delinquent?" the raven teased.

"No, don't, just…yes. It's a love note…but I'm having trouble writing it."

"Is that so? Maybe I could help. Who's it for?"

"I'm not telling you that!"

"Fine, fine. What are they like?"

"They're…different. But the good kind of different," Kadota nodded, deciding his description was good.

"Seems simple enough. Hand me the paper," Izaya whispered, reaching his hand out stealthily, beckoning his fingers. The brunette did as he was told and slipped Izaya the blank note.

Tapping his pen to his lower lip in thought, the raven wrote down the first thing that came to his mind:

'_Hey.'_

Kadota wasn't someone of many words, but he wasn't someone of many little, either. Greetings were important, but first impressions spoke volumes. The way someone greets you says a lot about their character, and quite frankly and simply put, Izaya felt that Kadota would start off a cheesy love letter with "Hey."

'_The moment I saw you, I knew you were different. There was something about you that I couldn't quite put my finger on, but even so, I knew that I liked it…a lot. You fluster me and get me thinking about things that I've never really thought about before. Love, life, laughter; they're all things that I'd like to share with you. So, what do you say? Will you go out with me?'_

Izaya handed the piece of paper back to Kadota. "Here, just sign your name now and you're all set," the raven whispered.

"Thanks, man. I owe you."

"I'm holding you to that."

The brunette sighed. "I know."

* * *

The school day seemed to drag along, not going exceptionally fast, but not going extraordinarily slow, either. Much to the student body's disapproval, the sky was masked in clouds; big and puffy, grey clouds. Izaya didn't mind them. Sure, cloud cover destroyed the freeing aspect of the sky that he had come to love, but for some reason, the raven felt like being smothered today. Maybe Shinra was right. Maybe he _was _a masochist.

Shizuo had had a rough day. Failed every test that he was returned, got a detention for falling asleep in class, had a headache and couldn't eat lunch, and forgot to get a class permission slip for a field trip signed, therefore disenabling him the right to go. All in all, it was a horrible day and the blond just really wanted to go home.

Opening his shoe locker to a small, neatly folded note was not something that he had expected…not at all. _'It better not be another note from that freaking flea again,'_ he huffed in thought, unfolding the piece of paper with a foul look on his face. His expression melted into a much softer, much more flustered one almost immediately.

Humming a soft tune to himself as he made his way to his own shoe locker, Izaya peeked around the corner of the metallic array, spotting Shizuo and noting the small piece of paper that was in his hands. _'A note?...A love letter?'_

Sneaky as can be, Izaya crept down the aisle of lockers, trying not to make a single sound. Shizuo was in another world, his face as red as a beet and his hands shaking like it was mid-winter.

The raven was so close, yet it felt like he was still so far. Just a couple more steps and he would be there. Just one…two…_three._

_Got it._

This was it, the item that Izaya would steal from Shizuo's possessions today; his one, and possibly only, love note. He had to be quick, though, because the blond was already after him, rushing through the lockers to catch him.

This was what he wanted. Yes, this is what he _needed_. The attention, the thrill, the _chase_.

'_That's right, Shizu-chan, come after me! Scream my name like you always do! Make me fear for my life!'_

"GET BACK HERE, FLEA!"

'_My name, Shizu-chan. My name!'_

"YOU SON OF A—!"

'_Say it, Shizu-chan! Say it!'_

"IIIIIZAAAAYAAAAAA!"

Throwing his head back in sinister laughter, Izaya burst through the school's entrace doors and ran out into the courtyard, seeking another sort of outburst from the blond.

"Ne, Shizu-chan! Why don't I read your love letter to the entire school?" Izaya chanted, earning multiple confused and worried stares.

"DON'T YOU DARE! GIVE IT BACK RIGHT NOW!" Shizuo shouted, twisting the doors off of their hinges as he crashed through them.

"Too late! I really want to now!"

"FLE-!"

"Hey!"

The color drained from Izaya's face.

'_Hey.'_

Izaya wished that he could have read the more of that childish love letter, but the next thing he knew, his vision was spotted black.

And _**red**_.

Time stopped, and there were shrieks of terror from all different directions. Blurred images started dancing around frantically, as the sky and the ground decided it would be a fun idea to switch places.

"Someone! Anyone! Call an ambulance!" a girl's voice hollered.

"I already have one dialed on my cell!" another answered.

What was going on? Who was hurt?

Oh.

It was _Izaya_.

Dropping to the ground in an uncontrolled manner, the raven fell onto his side, body twitching and throat convulsing. What was this? Why did it feel like he was drowning inside of his throat? He couldn't _breathe_.

"Fl-flea?"

'_What? Who is it?'_

"I-Izaya, g-get up!"

'_I can't.'_

The raven's uniform jacket was violently ripped from his body, buttons popping from their threaded entrapment to reveal a sunken in and pumping torso.

"The Hell have I done…"

'_What are you talking about? What did you do?'_

"Izaya, can you hear me?"

'_Yes.'_ He _could_ hear, but the volume of audible sound waves resembled that of buzzing bees and muffled car alarms.

Pupils constricting into an almost focus, Izaya looked. He looked up, he looked down; he looked all the way around, processing images in short bursts of color, substituted soon thereafter with multiple shades of grey.

Seeing the raven's frantically moving eyeballs, Shizuo's body, hovering over Izaya's, immediately tensed. "Izaya, can you see me?"

Locking a hold onto large and non-threatening irises of hazel, Izaya felt it.

_Pain_.

Everything began to hurt. His head, his legs, his arms, his hands—even the very tips of his fingers, but one area hurt much more than any other:

His chest.

Heaving for air, the raven soon realized the struggle was futile. He could have laughed, screamed even, but no such noise would ever leave his lips again. He was meeting his death, at the hands of Shizuo, nonetheless.

The event was a blur, but when Izaya had stopped running, shocked by just how _familiar _the header of that love note was, Shizuo took it as an opportunity to land a swift punch into the raven's chest-a direct blow to his ribcage-shuttering and caving in multiple ribs in an instant. One rib had punctured his heart, another his shot through lungs, and a third had simply shattered like glass, well beyond the repair of any crew of surgeons.

"Izaya…I'm sorry…"

'_What's this, Shizu-chan? Are you crying? Isn't this what you wanted? You wanted me dead, right? You should be smiling. You should be __**happy**__.'_

Shizuo had propped Izaya's immobile body into his arms, cupping his head as if it were made of platinum, and holding his torso as if it were made of gold.

"Izaya, please…please just be okay. Hold off until the ambulance gets here…"

'_Oh Shizu-chan, that's not going to happen. I can already feel my own heartbeat failing inside of me.'_

"Izaya…forgive me…"

"_Why would I forgive you when I'm not even mad at you?'_

"Izay—"

A gurgling sound from the back of the raven's throat had silenced the blond immediately; scared him, even.

Izaya's throat was filling to the brim with his internal blood, a truly inevitable fate when your ribcage had taken a new home inside of your heart and lungs, really. But he was trying to talk. Trying to tell Shizuo to just shut up already and act like the monster that everyone knew he was. That_ he_ knew he was.

The blond laid his head onto Izaya's chest, a very uncomfortable place seeing as it was rising up and down at an accelerated rate, fighting for the oxygen that it would never receive.

Ah, this was his chance.

'_Hey, Shizu-chan?'_

"Izaya, I am so sorry."

'_Are you listening?'_

"Izaya…"

'_Shizu-chan…'_

The blond's heart stopped. It had literally skipped a beat out of absolute horror and unsuspecting fright.

Izaya had moved his head upward just enough so that he could brush his bluing and chapped lips along the edge of the blond's ear, the tips of the Shizuo's bleached hair tickling his nose and cheek.

And that was it.

The raven's head slumped back down into Shizuo's hold, chest still and eyes covered in a hazy film.

Izaya Orihara had died at 14:38 by the hand of Shizuo Heiwajima; his death caused by a severely inflicted wound to the ribcage.

* * *

_I hope you enjoyed this rather climactic chapter! (:_

_The last chapter of this story will be posted tomorrow. (:_

_- Chappy_


	4. Chapter 4

The trial and court case of Shizuo Heiwajima was a private one. Tried as an adult for committing involuntary manslaughter, the blond was granted a bail of 6,000,000 yen, a cost that promptly put the Heiwajima family into an all-consuming debt.

The Orihara family refused to remain present during the case, their lawyer standing alone in place for them. They had also filed for a restraining order. Their request was granted immediately, demanding that Shizuo stay at 150 meters distance from every member of their family, 200 meters distance from Mairu and Kururi.

With a slam of the gavel, Shizuo's fate was set. The blond bowed his head, clenching his hands into tight fists.

'_Shizu...Shizu-chan wo...n't. Shizu-chan...won't do...it.'_

But he did, and nothing could reverse the clock. Izaya was gone, and there was no bringing him back.

'_Just be careful, huh? He's not made of steel like you are. You just might end up killing him one day.'_

How such words that had blown over Shizuo's head just a few days ago could resound in his mind like echoing time bombs, exploding his brain and making his head ache with regret.

'_Ne, Shizu-chan! Why don't I read your love letter to the entire school?'_

Why did you _stop_ reading it, Izaya? You looked like you had seen a ghost the moment you read the first word.

Exiting the courthouse in a close huddle to his mother and father, Shizuo looked up to the sky. The sun had not shown since the day of Izaya's death, and the blond was beginning to think that it never would; not ever again.

* * *

When the ambulance had finally made it to Raijin Academy, the medic team pronounced Izaya dead on the scene. Nonetheless, they lifted his fragile and limp body from Shizuo's hold, resting him down onto a stretcher and mounting his corpse into the back of their automobile.

All eyes were on the emergency car as it drove off into the distance; no blaring sirens, no troubling commotions. Just…_silence._

The hospital call had been a brutal one. How does one tell a mother that her only son is dead and that funeral preparations needed to be made promptly? In simple terms is the answer. Brutally honest, simple terms.

"Your son, Orihara Izaya, is dead, ma'am."

A dry shriek of morbid horror broke through the house, waking sleeping daughters from their naptime. Kururi and Mairu had toddled down the stairs as fast as their little toddler legs could take them, only to round the corner and find their mother on the floor of their kitchen, sobbing horrendously with the landline phone dangling off of the hook from its cord.

"Mama! Mama!" the girls shouted, terrified to see their mother in this unusual state. "Mama! What happened? What happened?"

"Izaya…" came a hoarse answer. "Izaya…" it came again. "Izaya…" again.

"What happened to big brother, Mama?"

"…Dead. Izaya…dead…"

Dropping slowly to the ground, Kururi and Mairu curled into their mother's bosom as she held them close, their cries of sorrow bounding about the walls, while the faint sound of a dial tone could be heard in the distance.

* * *

Izaya's funeral was small. Garments of charcoal black were worn to mourn his passing. Only close-knit relatives attended, and even less had attended his wake. Shinra and Kadota were given special permission to attend Izaya's funeral ceremony, but Shizuo's presence was absolutely forbidden.

"Thank you for coming, boys," Izaya's mother smiled softly, _falsely_. "I'm sure Izaya would really appreciate it.

"It's no problem, Orihara-san…" Shinra muttered, tinkering with his thumbs. "I'm…I'm sorry for your loss."

She nodded her head in acknowledgement of the brunette's words, placing a hand on Kadota and Shinra's shoulders as she whispered, "I'm sorry for yours, as well."

Everyone took their seats as the priest began to chant the traditional sutra, bringing everyone to tears as the incense rods were lit. Shinra and Kadota bit at their lips as they began to tremor. Izaya had not been the best friend that anyone could ask for, but he was still a good friend, one of a kind in every single aspect.

"The name of Izaya," the priest began, coaxing everyone out of their tears for just a moment to hear the raven's new, Buddhist-given name, "is now Yoake. While his life was short, his imprint will remain forever, just as the sun shall rise and fall, breaking through every horizon at the peak of dawn."

* * *

The funeral ceremony had soon come to an end and the Orihara family gathered around Izaya's coffin. Shinra and Kadota were not allowed to attend this part of the ceremony, but were invited to accompany the family as they laid Izaya's ashes to rest, for this was now the time of the raven's cremation.

Inside of the crematorium, Izaya's coffin was set to flames, something that his mother could only look at for so long before having to leave the room, teary-eyed Mairu and Kururi following close behind like little ducklings.

The process took about two hours. In that time, the Orihara family ate small lunches, none of them all that hungry to begin with. Shinra and Kadota had decided to pay a visit to Shizuo in that time frame.

"What are you guys doing here?" Shizuo asked when he had opened his front door to see his two friends staring back at him.

"We came to see how you were doing…" Kadota answered bashfully, running a hand through his neatly kempt hair.

"From where? You guys look miserable."

"Izaya's funeral," Shinra answered, disregarding the fact that that was the raven's name no more.

There was a silence then. Shizuo should have remembered that today was the day of Izaya's funeral—he had been ordered to stay away from it after all—but for some reason the thought did not fully process in his mind. Everything…Izaya's death, being a killer, his family's name becoming dishonored within the blink of an eye, it all still felt like a terrible, horrible nightmare that he would pinch himself awake to. But it wasn't a nightmare, and Shizuo was not going to wake up, because he already was alive and conscious.

"Oh," the blond replied simply, not having much more to say for that matter.

"Can we come in?" Shinra persisted, folding his arms.

"Sure…" Shizuo nodded, stepping back and letting the two of them inside.

"Do you guys want some tea or something?" Shizuo asked, guiding them to the kitchen. They all took a seat around the dining table.

"No, we're not staying for long."

"Why not?"

"Izaya's mom invited us to join the rest of their family for his burial," Kadota answered with a sigh. All of these words, all of these sentences, none of them sounded right. Izaya, funeral, burial; they did not belong in the same sentences together.

"Oh…" Shizuo replied, his head hanging low. There was that silence again. It was short-lived, however, because the soft sound of sniffling over took it.

"Hey, Shizuo…?" Kadota asked sympathetically, placing his hand over the blond's.

Shizuo refused to look up at him. He didn't want to be seen like this, not in front of his friends; not in front of anybody.

"Shizuo, we know it wasn't your fault…"

"…How can you say that, Kadota? If it weren't for me, that stupid flea would still be here…" Shizuo muttered between breathy inhales.

"What Kadota is trying to say is that we know you didn't mean to kill him. That's why you were tried with involuntary manslaughter, remember?" Shinra said.

"Yeah, but…"

"Shizuo!"

Kadota's stern tone had caused the blond to jolt. He looked up quickly, the action causing a few of the tears that had built up on the brims of his eyelids to race down his face.

"You may not have known this," Shinra began seriously, folding his hands atop the table's surface, "but Izaya was in love with you."

Shizuo remained silent, staring at Shinra as he waited for him to continue.

"He…he never actually said that he was in love with you, but it was pretty obvious from his bizarre actions. If my theory proves to be accurate, Izaya took up the pattern of stealing small items that belonged to you in order to hold your attention. It was a strange way to do it, but he found it to be effective, so he went with it. This is all in theory but…"

"…But?" Shizuo questioned in a shaky voice, almost afraid to hear what the brunette was going to say next.

"But I think that if he had a choice as to how he would die, he would want it to be because of you."

Looking down at his watch, Kadota stood from the table. "Shinra, I think we should go…"

"You're right," Shinra answered, standing as well.

Shizuo stood up after them, seeing the two of his friends out. He was confused when Kadota had decided to linger behind.

"Is something the matter? Did you forget something?" Shizuo questioned.

"No…I…" the brunette looked down a bit.

"What is it?" the blond prodded.

"I…I just wanted to tell you that the love letter that I gave you…Izaya was the one who wrote it for me."

Shizuo's eyes widened.

"I didn't tell him that it was for you, but yeah, he's the one who wrote it…" Kadota's cheekbones began to paint with pink.

"That's…that's okay. You still meant those words, right?" Shizuo muttered.

"…Yeah."

"That's all that matters then…right?"

"Mhm…but um…do you have an answer for me?" Kadota asked, looking away from the blond's gaze.

Shizuo sighed and combed a hand through his hair. "I…I need some time. That's not a no, though, I just, I don't think now is the best time for you to be dating someone like me…"

Kadota looked up to Shizuo, essaying the man's face, replying with a soft, "I understand."

Patting the blond's shoulder in departure, Kadota left to catch up with Shinra, the two of them making their way to the local cemetery where Izaya was said to be buried.

* * *

"Mama, big brother is going to come back, right?" Mairu had asked, tugging on the sleeve of her mother's black kimono. She and Kururi were too young to fully understand the concept of death, nor did their mother or father have the time with their busy schedules to explain it to them. To make matters worse, the twins also didn't realize that their big brother was now cast as ashes, what was once his body now forever cased away inside of an urn. For all their innocent minds knew, "dead" meant "asleep".

Shaking her head, Izaya's mother slipped her hand into the sleeve of her kimono and pulled out another handkerchief, dabbing the corners of her eyes and patting her nose. "No, darling, he's not coming back."

"Mama, why did he leave us?" Mairu persisted, causing her mother to turn into their father's chest, weeping horridly.

"Mairu, please just be quiet, okay?" her father whispered, his voice dry, yet consoling as he stroked his wife's pinned back hair.

Kadota and Shinra felt terribly out of place, but paid their respects as best as possible. Watching Izaya's urn get laid to rest inside of the family grave, joining two other urns—his grandmother on his mother's side and grandfather on his father's side—was very difficult; very surreal and unimaginable.

As the long day finally came to a close, the Orihara family decided it best to leave their son, grandson, nephew, and cousin to his eternal rest. Tagging along behind Izaya's family, Shinra and Kadota looked to Izaya's mother as she stopped them and, once again, thanked them for coming.

"It's not a problem, Orihara-san. We're grateful you kept us in mind," Shinra answered with a short bow of the head.

"If you two aren't ready to leave yet, you can stay. Just be sure to not light any more candles," she smiled again, clearly another fake one, waving the two off as she walked beside her husband, leaning her head onto his shoulder as she, presumably, started to cry softly once again.

"Do you want to stay?" Kadota asked, looking back at the many rows of family graves.

"If you don't mind, let's bring Shizuo here."

"Are you crazy?" Kadota whispered in a threatening tone, hoping that none of the Oriharas had heard him. "They filed a restraining order against him. Why would you want to get him in trouble?"

"They filed it against the living Oriharas, not the dead."

"…What are you trying to do, Shinra?"

"Achieve closure. For all of us."

* * *

"No," was Shizuo's blatant response. "There is no way I'm going there."

"Shizuo, all of his family is gone now. You won't get in trouble, just—"

"I SAID NO! I DON'T WANT TO GO THERE!" he yelled, getting ready to slam the door when Shinra had placed his hand on the door frame.

"I need you to do this, Shizuo," Shinra said pointedly, an eerie look in his eyes almost leaving no room for argument.

"…But I…"

"Shizuo," Kadota spoke up, trying to be the comforting one of the situation, "if you don't want to go with us now, you don't have to, but just promise us that you will visit his grave. I'm sure he'd want you to."

The blond stared down at his feet, never finding anything more fascinating before. It took him a while to answer, so long that Shinra and Kadota had looked at each other with confused expressions. When Shizuo finally lifted his head, he nodded.

"I'll go…someday."

"Thank you, Shizuo," Shinra whispered, smiling softly.

The blond remained silent as he watched for the second time that day as he friends left down the pathway of his home, closing the door and locking it tight.

Minutes became hours, hours became days, days became months, and months became years. Shizuo Heiwajima, a name that still had not been and never would be cleared from his shameful crime, was now 24-years old and he had yet to keep his promise.

Shinra and Kadota had stopped pestering him about it after he had thrown a writing desk through the window back in high school and still haven't asked him about it to this day.

Feeling the buzz of his cell phone in the back pocket of his pants had startled him out of his looming and morbidly nostalgic thoughts.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Hey baby, are you coming home soon?"

"Yeah, but I need to stop by the convenient store to pick up some cigs first. How was your day?"

"It could have been better. Could have included you."

Shizuo laughed, following the crowd as he trudged along with the sea of working people. "You're such an idiot."

"I'm _your_ idiot."

"Shut up," the blond blushed, rubbing his nose to try and mask it from the sight of others. "I'll be home soon, okay?"

"'Kay. Should I be waiting for you with or without clothes on?"

"With!" Shizuo sputtered, no longer able to control his very distinct, very red flush.

"Don't lie to me, baby."

Swallowing and trying to compose himself, Shizuo sighed, a loud puff of concentrated air as it passed through the technological receiver of his cell phone.

"…Without."

"That's more like it. See you soon."

"Bye," Shizuo concluded, closing his cell and shoving it back into his pocket. With a grumble, the blond looked around. Okay, where was he? He was so flustered by the phone call that he hadn't been paying attention to where he was going and had ended up in the off town of his old neighborhood. "Wonderful."

Wandering down the streets, Shizuo passed by his old house, staring at it for some time. A new family lived there now, a family that had no knowledge of who had lived there prior. The blond began to wonder if they would have chosen to live there if they knew it was where a monster once dwelled.

Continuing down the street, Shizuo froze. That's right. He forgot that he had lived very close to the local cemetery, the same cemetery where Izaya had been buried all of those years back. Biting his lower lip, the blond contemplated turning back, but chose against it. He had made a promise. It was nearly a decade later, yes, but a promise was still a promise. Maybe if he were to fulfill it, he could finally be at his own, personal mind-set of peace.

Praying for his own deceased at the temple before the cemetery's entrance, Shizuo sighed. Was he really going to do this? What was he going to do? Stare at the grave? He didn't even know where it was.

Clapping his hands, Shizuo exited his prayer and climbed up the battered stone steps of the cemetery. He read many names, unsure of their origin or what their death stories were like.

It took him a while to find it, but Shizuo finally came across a grave that read "Orihara". Swallowing back at the forming lump in his throat, the blond crouched down, lighting a wooden fire rod out of respect. Shizuo sighed.

"Hi..." he had whispered after a moment, his mind reeling and his heart suddenly beating at an unhealthy rate. "I…I wasn't planning on coming here tonight, or ever, really, but I figured that since I was already in the area, I would complete a long-term promise."

Looking up to the sky, not seeing much of anything but darkening clouds due to sunset, Shizuo cussed. He didn't know why he had cussed, but he did…loudly, and he could swear that, somewhere beyond the grave, he had heard that stupid flea's laughter, muffled and fuzzy, but most certainly audible.

"Since I'm here, I think you should have this," Shizuo said, taking out his wallet and pulling out his debit card to reveal a tiny paper, folded millions of times over. The blond plucked the paper out of the pocket and slipped his debit card back into place.

"Do you remember this, flea?" he asked, holding the piece of paper before the grave. "This is the entire reason why you're dead."

Unfolding the note, Shizuo cleared his throat, preparing himself to read it aloud.

"Hey.

The moment I saw you, I knew you were different. There was something about you that I couldn't quite put my finger on, but even so, I knew that I liked it…a lot. You fluster me and get me thinking about things that I've never really thought about before. Love, life, laughter; they're all things that I'd like to share with you. So, what do you say? Will you go out with me?

-Kadota."

Allowing the words to sink in, Shizuo inhaled deeply, exhaling just as slow. "Kadota said you wrote this, and then Shinra told me you loved me. If all of this was true, why did you try to annoy me on a daily basis?"

Scoffing at the silence, Shizuo flicked the note into the burning flame rod. The blond watched the paper curl and crisp, a memory that he had kept all of this time, unable to dispose of it in any way, shape, or form; for more reasons than one.

After staring at the dying flame for some time, Shizuo rose into a stand. He blew on the fire rod, causing its life to disperse, its soul to rise as a single strand of smoke.

"Hey, flea," he began, a soft smile of his face, "I'm sorry I killed you."

With that, Shizuo left the cemetery grounds, head held high and smile still present. It was odd for this time of day, but the sun seemed to break through the clouds just the slightest bit as it set beyond the horizon, and the blond could have sworn that it was the brightest sun he had ever seen.

'_You smilin' or something, flea?_' Shizuo mused in silence, chuckling as he made his way back to the city streets of Ikebukuro, back to home, back to where his lover, the only person he had ever received a love note from, be it written by his own hand or not, was waiting for him without any clothes on.

* * *

_Well, here it is! I hope I didn't rip your hearts out too much! D:_

_I hope you have enjoyed the resolution to this story. I'm really excited with how everything came out and I hope you liked it all, too! :D_

_Here are a few notes:_

_Funerals in Japan are a little different than the funerals in America, which is where I live. When someone dies, the deceased receives a new Buddhist name written in Kanji. This name supposedly prevents the return of the deceased if his name is called. The length of the name depends also on either the virtue of the person's lifespan, or more commonly, the size of the donation of the relatives to the temple, which may range from a generally common name to the most elaborate names for 1 million yen or more. Also, 99.85% of people that live in Japan are cremated. [ information from Wikipedia ]_

_I gave Izaya the after-life name "Yaoke", meaning "dawn" or "daybreak". This is why I made the sun become a vital symbol. (:_

_A song that has inspired me to write this story was "Safe and Sound" by Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars. I know that song supposed to revolve around Rue's death in The Hunger Games, but I also felt that it could befit Izaya's death as well._

_All in all, I just want to thank you very much for reading this story! I means so much to me and I hope that you have enjoyed it!_

_- Chappy_


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